December 11, 1982 — see The Complete Peanuts 1979-1982
“Charles Schulz’s Peanuts comics often conceal the existential despair of their world with a closing joke at the characters’ expense. With the last panel omitted, despair pervades all.”
Of course, you still hear people saying ‘I don’t watch the news – it’s depressing.’ The answer to this is to invite them to imagine a world in which things which made you happy were so unusual they were newsworthy.
“
| — | Jeremy Paxman |
An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.
“
| — | Genesis 1:22, LOLCat Bible |
Gingham
Behind the door with the gingham curtains sits a young girl with red hair. She wears a gingham dress. Next to her is a table, draped with a cloth of the same gingham. Upon the table sits a small plate, bearing a small slice of pie. She is screaming at the pie. She has circular breath for this solitary reason. There are water pipes to keep her throat hydrated, and caffeine drips to keep her awake. It is deathly important that she screams at the pie as long as she can. But in resigning herself to this fate, no one will know why. No one will know the horrors the saw. How close she came to death. How long she averted her gaze onto said pie. How this humble slice of baked foodstuff became her scapegoat. She keeps it preserved, alive to suffer the vocal horrors she projects. Why would the pie not be alive? Being alive is not contingent on having feelings.
